17-year-old stepdaughter accuses stepmother of pretending to be poor because she refused to buy her a $1200 purse: 'I know you and Dad make bank'

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  • Woman holding a cream colored handbag in front of her face
  • My stepdaughter accused me of ‘playing poor’… because I didn’t want to buy her a designer bag.

    I (41F) married my husband (45M) five years ago. He has a daughter, "Maddy," who's now 17. Her mother is quite wealthy and spoils her. I don't judge, that's their dynamic.
  • My husband and I are comfortable but we live intentionally. We save aggressively for retirement, travel once a year, and don't buy luxury goods unless they truly matter to us.
  • Womens sunglasses and blackbag with watch and iPhone 6
  • Last week, Maddy asked me to buy her a $1,200 designer bag she saw on TikTok. I said no, not because I couldn't afford it, but because I didn't think it was appropriate for a teenager to have something that expensive unless her own parent bought it.
  • She rolled her eyes and said, "Stop pretending you're poor. I know you and Dad make bank." I was stunned. I calmly told her budgeting isn't "being poor," it's just... responsible.
  • She got upset, told her dad I was "judging her lifestyle," and now he wants me to apologize for "making her feel bad.” I refused because I didn't shame her; I just said no.
  • He thinks I should "keep the peace." I think he's enabling her entitlement. AITA for not apologizing?
  • A woman with dark hair wearing a green shirt
  • Zestyclose-Height-36 Sounds like stepdaughter is in need of a financial literacy class, and building her awareness that you don't want her to have to support you when you are old.
  • Scorp128 Why wasn't she hitting up Dad to buy the purse for her? Or her Mom? She was rude and disrespectful. She doesn't need to be counting other peoples money. Dad should be mortified that his daughter acted this way, not trying to get an undeserved apology because princess had her feelings hurt being told no.
  • gdognoseit How else can she cause problems between op and her dad.
  • YesterdaySimilar2069 Yep, OP – feel free to apologize to her after she's completed a semester of personal finance, gone over your retirement accounts and then made a tour of the local homeless shelter and checked out the below poverty level elder care facility near your home. Kidding, but only barely. If she's 17, she can get a job to buy that bag.
  • HellaShelle I mean, aside from letting her see their retirement accounts, I think I like your plan
  • oldcreaker Funny he wants you to apologize - but he's not buying the bag for her, either. He's made you the fall guy so he doesn't have to say no to her.
  • Agostointhesun I get the feeling he expects the apology to come with the bag... because his perfect princess deserves everything she wants!
  • flaminkle She's 17- her "lifestyle" isn't hers, she's funded by the adults in her life.
  • KelsarLabs Tell him to give you a divorce, just because it will give you peace.
  • gemmygem86 I hope your finances are separate and your credit is locked down I foresee your money being gone and credit ruined

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